I am a Bad Parent

I am a Bad Parent

If you want to get better the first step is stepping forward, and admitting it. I am a bad parent. Don’t read this with sympathy and think I’m just being hard on myself. I have five children, and I think I’m blessed with the sweetest, most caring and loving children on the planet (regardless of how much craziness goes on in our home) they’re just perfect to me. Being that there’s five, it gets hard. I’m continuously with the baby and so I don’t give my big kids the love and attention that they deserve. By the time the baby naps and my toddler stops screaming and throwing tantrums I just want to sit down and have a bit of me time. They’ll come up to me and I will tell them to leave me be for a little while because, that’s what I feel I need. I’m wrong. They didn’t want to be here on this earth. I MADE THEM! I’m the creator in their life, I’m all they know and they need me as much as I need them. I feel like I’m a terrible person, I can’t even call myself a mom. Who am I to say I’m a mom when I don’t parent my kids? Depression. A sin that’s taken over my body years before today. I’m embarrassed to even speak on it. I’m not doing my job. They deserve the world and I’m not even giving them my time. My time here is limited, but they don’t ask for much. I think that beating myself up about it makes me fall deeper into depression, and with each birthday that passes it brings me to tears. I just want to stop time and make up for the wasted time that I never gave them. In some ways I’m glad I woke up to this now, because well, better late than never, but man if I could turn back time. Social media is the devil too, we’re so wrapped up with other people’s lives that we fail to see what’s in front of us. Laughing at the cute things another child does while your child does the same thing right in front of our face. I’m sorry I’m not perfect but I blame it all on technology. I mean, I CAN NOT be the only Parent that feels this way. It’s impossible. I’m working on this and, with that being said I think the phone needs a break. The phones are our enemy. Social media is an enemy. They should be used for calls and/or texts at most. This whole social media crap is draining us. Your phone battery is charged but your battery (YOU) is drained.. I think change is good and so I say goodbye to Instagram for now. My babies need me and as a parent I want to enjoy the moments with them without posting about it or having a phone in their face with each thing they do. I want to see it with my eyes, and not through a screen. The motherhood journey is amazing. I want to enjoy it. Thank you to everyone that was with me on my mommy blog journey and thank you for sticking by my craziness and my families craziness. We love and appreciate you guys so much! If you’d like to keep in touch, I love texts and phone calls. Message me and we’ll connect. XO

New Year, New Me

New Year, New Me

I think a lot people make “new year, new me” posts and it makes them feel good inside thinking that this year it’ll actually be “their year.” I’ve been saying it’s my year every year since 2017, and every year that’s passed since has been filled with false hopes and lies. It’s been a rough few years, and I think that finding god has helped me through it all. It’s made me see that this year won’t be my year, unless I wake up and make it my year. How can I expect change if I’m sitting around waiting for it? I need to get out there and make changes, serious changes. I need to meet new faces, visit new places. It will never be “my year” if I’m doing the same thing with the same people that drag me down. “Misery loves company.” It’s been said over and over, and I’m tired of it; with God but my side, this year IS my year, and it can be your year too! — if you truly want it. Find a way, and make it happen. 2020. The year it all began!

Second Chance Toys

Second Chance Toys

It’s that time again Parents, the holidays are approaching so fast and Second Chance Toys could use your help!

Did you know? Second Chance Toys keeps toys out of landfills by donating them to children in need!

There are two easy ways to help.

1) Sign up as a toy collector:

You can sign up using this link.

http://www.secondchancetoys.org/collector/register

2) Donate toys:

You can find local drop off locations.

http://www.secondchancetoys.org/metro-drop-locations

Whichever way you decide to help, just know you’re helping our planet, all while putting a smile on a child’s face!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Children have a voice, let them use it!

Children have a voice, let them use it!

Growing up, most children get used to hearing the word “No.” As adults, we’re told to “Go for it!” or “Why not?” and then, we sit and wonder why kids have a difficult time growing into strong minded, independent adults. They rebel and we get frustrated, we are trying to raise our children to listen to us when we don’t listen to them. Listening is important and I know hearing a story about something they find hilarious may not be as funny to you, but listen. The way they speak to you and tell it to you is because they want you to share the laughter and happiness with them! When they come to you to talk about a bad day, they want comfort. They are trusting you and hoping you understand from their point of view. I’ve seen parents tell their child to “Stop being such a crybaby.” If your child is crying, let them cry. It’s their way of expressing their emotions instead of bottling it in. All children have a voice, let them use it. If they talk back to you, sit down and TALK about it. Don’t just jump and point fingers about who they’ve learned it from. There’s reason behind everything we do, have you ever had a bad day at work, came home and lashed out on your partner? Most likely, your partner understood and you talked about it. Why don’t we do this with children instead of punishments? Can you imagine snapping at your partner and them telling you “Get to your room!” I don’t think that’d end very well. Do you?

Take down the walls. Let your child come to you with anything and everything without judgment. If they want to cry, let them cry. BOYS INCLUDED. Being a boy doesn’t mean you can’t cry or if he cries he’s a “sissy”. It means he’s upset and he’s reacting. Help him though it. I have seen the strongest men in my life cry and they are still very much a man. There’s no right or wrong in parenting, we all learn from our mistakes, but I do believe that it’s important to show your children you really care about how they feel and what they feel. Now, go, hug your little ones!

“Children have a voice, let them use it.”

Rainy Days are fun in NYC!

Rainy Days are fun in NYC!

Rainy day in the city? Don’t fret! These are four of are our favorite places to go when it rains in New York City. Kid approved!!

New York Hall Of Science

47-01 111th St, Corona, NY 11368

(718)699-0005

https://nysci.org

Chuck E. Cheese

3419 48th Street

Long Island City, NY 11101

(718)728-3600

Chuckecheese.com

Kanga’s Indoor Play Center & Cafe

32-15 37th Avenue

Long Island City, NY 11101

(718)606-2216

longislandcity.kangasplaycenter.com

Play Garden NYC

95 Franklin Street

New York, NY 10013

(212)965-9717

Playgardennyc.com

Wanna be featured on thenycmom.com? Email us at thenycmom@gmail.com

I fought postpartum depression with cold showers!

I fought postpartum depression with cold showers!

Let’s be honest. We all at some point in our lives fight off depression, and well, postpartum depression I can honestly say was the hardest fight I’ve ever had to fight. When I had my first born, I didn’t know what to expect. After giving birth (naturally) and being completely fine afterwards, the minute I got home I felt completely alone. I had a lot of emotional support from my partner but, nothing seemed to feel right. I could not get adjusted to life again. I felt extremely emotional and I thought it would never disappear. Shortly after my first, I had gotten pregnant again with my son and postpartum luckily went away and didn’t come back as bad until I had my fifth child, than it got bad. Now, by bad I don’t mean I intended to harm myself but I felt like if I had, I’d be better off and so would my kids. I felt like now, as a mom of five my life was completely over. I was in excruciating pain from the C-Section and was told I may need spinal surgery after birth and I’d know for sure within 7-10 weeks after my son was born. The pain in my stomach and back for the first weeks after birth was unbearable. I thought I would never get my life back. I wanted to disappear and thought everyone was better off without me. I isolated myself, I became distant from my partner and cried myself to sleep in silence. I cried in my showers and while I nursed my son at night. I was miserable and I knew I needed to fix myself immediately before the kids started to realize or I got worse. I researched everything and found nothing. No group chats helped, no therapist was understanding because not even I understood what I was feeling. It was a nightmare. I was living in someone else’s body. I was no longer myself, until one night I woke up, and I was burning up. The air conditioning was on and still I was sweating and my body inside and out was burning, I decided to throw myself into a cold shower. I kid you not when I say the shower felt warm to me, that’s how hot my body was. I stayed in the shower until I cooled off a bit and realized as soon as I got out that I felt different. I felt energized, now let me tell you, that was honestly the LAST thing I’d want to be at 3AM but it felt good to feel that again. I had lost so much energy after having my son that I felt new. The same day, around noon I started to feel depression and fatigue creeping on me. I felt it pushing its way toward my mind and I wasn’t having it. I decided “fuck it..I’ll try a cold shower.” At least I wouldn’t be depressed AND tired. I’d just fight off the depression as it came, but at least I wouldn’t be tired doing it. What happened that day was a miracle, to be honest. I felt new again, like not even depressed! I was in complete shock and just didn’t even want to tell anyone about what I was experiencing yet. I took a cold shower every day for a week, then two and before I knew it my son was three months old, I was taking cold showers twice a day and my postpartum depression never returned. I was back to my usual self again, only 150% better than before! As I write this, I’m smiling holding my son. I’m writing in hopes of cold “therapy” showers helping another mommy, like myself fight off postpartum depression naturally without medications!! It sounds ridiculous to some, but if you’ve ever felt it, if you’ve ever had postpartum depression than you know how it feels to wish and pray to be “normal” again. I don’t know if this can help everyone but I feel it can! The benefits of cold showers (5-10 minutes a day) changed my life on the FIRST try. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to my old hot shower routine!