Growing up, most children get used to hearing the word “No.” As adults, we’re told to “Go for it!” or “Why not?” and then, we sit and wonder why kids have a difficult time growing into strong minded, independent adults. They rebel and we get frustrated, we are trying to raise our children to listen to us when we don’t listen to them. Listening is important and I know hearing a story about something they find hilarious may not be as funny to you, but listen. The way they speak to you and tell it to you is because they want you to share the laughter and happiness with them! When they come to you to talk about a bad day, they want comfort. They are trusting you and hoping you understand from their point of view. I’ve seen parents tell their child to “Stop being such a crybaby.” If your child is crying, let them cry. It’s their way of expressing their emotions instead of bottling it in. All children have a voice, let them use it. If they talk back to you, sit down and TALK about it. Don’t just jump and point fingers about who they’ve learned it from. There’s reason behind everything we do, have you ever had a bad day at work, came home and lashed out on your partner? Most likely, your partner understood and you talked about it. Why don’t we do this with children instead of punishments? Can you imagine snapping at your partner and them telling you “Get to your room!” I don’t think that’d end very well. Do you?
Take down the walls. Let your child come to you with anything and everything without judgment. If they want to cry, let them cry. BOYS INCLUDED. Being a boy doesn’t mean you can’t cry or if he cries he’s a “sissy”. It means he’s upset and he’s reacting. Help him though it. I have seen the strongest men in my life cry and they are still very much a man. There’s no right or wrong in parenting, we all learn from our mistakes, but I do believe that it’s important to show your children you really care about how they feel and what they feel. Now, go, hug your little ones!
“Children have a voice, let them use it.”